Remembering Roy
1973- Sweet Dreams
Working Man
Early Merle
The Experiment
June 19, 2001
Dr. Har the Scientist knew all about Cappa. He knew about the three original Cappas too. In fact, he was the master mind behind the experiment which created the three original Cappas. Nobody knew this except for three people, Dr. Har, Cappa, and the President of the United States. Har thought it would be a good birthday present for Cappa, if he were to assimilate some of the looks and character traits of Cappa's heroes.
At first Dr. Har was trying to cross-clone Cappa with some JFK DNA, but the JFK DNA rejected the host cell (Cappa). Then Har tried to cross-clone Cappa with General Patton's DNA, but the same thing happened. The Erwin Rommel cross-clone worked but Dr. Har had to reverse it as the Cappa-Rommel specimen was too short and round and would only ride a ten speed bicycle. After failing at these attempts, Dr. Har decided to make three Cappas. But the three Cappas didn't get along. They would argue. Surprisingly, all three had different personalities.
Har made a lot of Cappa babies and then froze them. He made teenage Cappas and sent them away to college. He made old man Cappas and left them outside hospitals and nursing homes. He made thousands of different age Cappas and let them loose in different parts of the country. He encouraged them to reproduce. He took pictures of them and measured their feet. He raised some Cappas one way and other Cappas another. Then he compared the results.
Dr. Har decided to populate the entire world with 25 year old Cappas. Hopefully, they would be loyal to him and help him to rule the world. Millions and millions of strong, healthy 25 year old Cappas doing his bidding. Har bought a surplus of Ambassadors and made it the official army/government car. He put flags of his own design on all the antennas. He made uniforms for his Cappas and let them watch all the History Channel they wanted. Everything was going according to plan until Dr. Har discovered one vital flaw.....
It happened one day while about 50 of the Officer's Club Cappas (that's
what
they wanted to be called) were watching a program on the History Channel about the The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
. As the program ended they
played the famous song by Gordon Lightfoot and all the Cappas within
ear-shot, even the ones watching Blue Angels training videos, fell to the
floor and began crying uncontrollably. Dr. Har couldn't believe what he was
seeing. All his work, his planning hadn't prepared him for this. He needed
to return to the lab immediately and somehow correct this flaw or it would
spell doom for the Really Big Plan
.
He combed through all his notes, reviewed his procedures, the sperm
counts,
the X-Y chromosomes, the riboflavin, the red dye. Where did he go wrong?
Suddenly the phone rang, it was the Head
Cappa. He had been getting some
strange reports from the Naval Air Base Cappas that a Battalion of soldiers
with lounge table
helmets were marching down from the Great Hill. There were other soldiers off loading onto New Wessagusset Beach and at the Nike Site.
Dr. Har started to piece together the puzzle. Spit formed at the corners of his
mouth and he began to convulse. He reached his brown pills just in time (the same ones he used to swim to Grape Island)
and
as he regained control of his senses he now realized everything had
changed.
He would need to re-think the Really Big Plan
. He had thought his old
nemesis had been destroyed for good when he smashed the watermelon over his head, but he now knew he was wrong. The Rocket had returned.....and now he had an Army of Vics!
We're an item.