Thursday, September 17, 2009
Stupid Lawsuits
Patricia Lynch commented in the Ledger the other day, “I wonder how much money I would now have if someone paid me big bucks for every stupid mistake I made?” And it got me thinking.
I can be really stupid sometimes. I don’t know how many times I’ve spilled hot coffee on my shirt on the way to work. Now I keep an extra shirt in the car just in case. For a while I was driving to work with a rain slicker on so the coffee wouldn’t get on my shirt, but people in other cars were looking at me funny so I stopped. Whenever I eat pizza I burn my mouth. It never fails. I love pizza but my mouth hurts the next day.
Ya, I can be really stupid, but at least I know I’m stupid and I don’t blame anyone else for being stupid. Like that mother who gave her kid hot hash browns. Now she’s suing Dunkin Donuts because of her own stupidity. They’ll probably settle out of court for a nice hefty sum of money. Dunkin Donuts is stupid too, but you can’t blame them. They’ve been sued a bunch of times over stupid stuff, like hot coffee.
How about that old lady who sued McDonalds for the hot coffee? I can relate to that. You know she wasn’t even driving at the time? You’d of thought the guy driving would have said, “hey Grandma that coffee looks hot, don’t hold it between your knees like that.” She probably would have sued him, but his pockets weren’t deep enough. She got 2.7 million dollars. Since then, Burger King, Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts have all been sued for making hot coffee. I was halfway to work one morning before I took a sip of coffee only to find out it was cold. I should have sued them for selling coffee that was too cold. I just threw it away and got another and spilled it.
Stupid people love McDonalds. Some guy left his cell phone at a McDonalds in Arkansas. He remembered he left it there when the nude photos of his wife that he had stored on the phone showed up on the internet. That was dumb. He’s suing them because he was forced to move away.
Some dummy in New Jersey has sued Denny’s because they’re menu is too high in sodium. It appears he was on high blood pressure medication. How stupid is that? The only reason to go to Denny’s is to get high blood pressure. Doctors recommend against eating more than 2,300 milligrams of sodium a day. The Meat Lover's Scramble at Denny’s has 5,690 milligrams of sodium. Yummy, I’m on my way. Hope I don’t burn my mouth.
POSTED BY STAN on September 17, 2009
Click here to comment on this article.